elviaprose: (Default)
Name ~3 B7 fics you think I wouldn't ever, ever write, and I'll try to write a snippet of at least one of them.

I know I don't write that often, so it might not be obvious. :/

Date: 2014-07-14 02:42 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] executrix.livejournal.com
1. Tarrant is evil. Really, really, evil. Maybe so evil he actually has a fluffy white cat.
2. Blake tells Avon he loves him, but Avon says Cally Would Kill You if You Tried Anything.
3. 101 Things To Do with A Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife.

Date: 2014-07-14 03:28 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] elviaprose.livejournal.com
Hmm. I'll have to give how I might go about 1&2 some thought. I think your evil!Tarrant is the definitive one.

In the mean time, have an excerpt from 101 Things To Do with A Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife:

Warning: Disturbing Images. Though not on par with those in A Terrible Aspect

1. Use your Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife to bisect your grapefruit Hjorklud.
2. Use your Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife to painstakingly loosen the flesh of each section of your bisected grapefruit Hjorklud.
3. Use your Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife to stab each painstakingly loosened section of your bisected grapefruitHjorklud and guide it into your mouth until you've consumed the entire grapefruit Hjorklud.
4. Use your Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife to stab each person who has laughed at any or all activities enumerated in 1-3
...
49. Use your Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife to unequivocally prove your heterosexuality. You have a Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife. Q. E. D.
50. Use your Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife to threateningly and slightly ambiguously explain your bisexuality: "my Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife cuts both ways...and so do I."
51. Use your Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife to affirm your homosexuality: "I'm as bent as this Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife isn't."
52. Use it as a pickup line for anyone you want to penetrate: "I'll feel much better inside you than this Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife."
53. Use your Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife as an anti-pickup line for anyone by whom you don't want to be penetrated : "I'd rather have my Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife up my *deleted*."

101. Use your Double-Bladed, Serrated Knife to not shoot Blake.

Edited Date: 2014-07-14 03:31 am (UTC)

Date: 2014-07-14 03:45 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] executrix.livejournal.com
Splendid!

However there are MANY ways Tarrant could be evil if he really wanted to be, including pre-TWB...

Find, Replace, Deploy

Date: 2014-07-14 12:50 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] elviaprose.livejournal.com
"Supreme Commander."

"Forward march, Captain Rai," Tarrant drawled, lifting a hand away from Star Killer's fluffy white coat to gesture Rai into the room.

"Supreme Commander," Rai said again. Tarrant wished he would stop repeating the title. It sounded as though he was reminding himself of Tarrant's rank.

"Well, what is it?" Tarrant asked, standing, knocking Star Killer to the floor. The old cat sprang away, ears back, but Tarrant's youthful reflexes allowed him to catch him in the side with the toe of his boot before he could retreat to Tarrant's desk.

"I value our friendship a great deal."

"Yes, yes, get on with whatever you have to tell me." If Rai thought their acquaintance at FSA made him more disposed to grant favors, he had another think coming.

"About putting Space Commander Servalan on the Blake Mission. Are you sure it's wise?"

Re: Find, Replace, Deploy

Date: 2014-07-14 12:58 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] executrix.livejournal.com
Much giggles! Such laughter!

Still, it *does* create some interesting possibilities. Although in Duel I suspect Servalan would spend most of her energies trying to kill Giroc and Sinofar for dumping her right in it.

Re: Find, Replace, Deploy

Date: 2014-07-15 02:08 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] elviaprose.livejournal.com
Yeah, I have to admit, I've been thinking about it. I think Tarrant and Servalan would make for an interesting double act.

I hate to demote Servalan, though!

Re: Find, Replace, Deploy

Date: 2014-07-15 02:15 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] executrix.livejournal.com
BTW I thought of some ideas for a Parent Trap story. And I am enjoying in advance leading everyone down the garden path, because they will be expecting me to Go There somewhere where I am actually not Going.

PS--is Seek, Locate, Destroy the B7 equivalent of Shag, Marry, Shoot?

Re: Find, Replace, Deploy

Date: 2014-07-15 02:19 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] elviaprose.livejournal.com
Yay, but also aaargh. You know I'm over-invested. As Mrs. Bennet would say, "you have no compassion on my poor nerves!"

Re: Find, Replace, Deploy

Date: 2014-07-15 02:20 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] elviaprose.livejournal.com
And re: your P.S. yes, I think it should be! Why have we never thought of it before?

Date: 2014-07-15 07:09 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] aralias.livejournal.com
ext_23799: (Default)
ahaha. see - this is hilarious. why WOULDN'T you write this?

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